Anyway, he finally wakes up from all the cold and asks, “What happened honey.”

The Night Dancer

By: Saloni Bhatnagar

Almere Stad, Netherlands

Fuck these hot flashes! I was peacefully sleeping in my bed when suddenly I realized there was sweat under my bosom. I never sweat – I used to tell this to my husband who is snoring peacefully beside me, just because he doesn’t have ovaries, he doesn’t have to bleed every month and the literally lying piece of shit would never know what it feels like to have that egg producing power taken away. I twist and turn like a dancer showing off her moves, and think why can’t I do this when I am on the dance floor where I just feel like I have two left feet.

Listening to him snore makes me angry, so I open the window when it’s freezing cold outside and snatch away the rascal’s part of the duvet, not to cover myself but to wake him up to suffer with me.

Anyway, he finally wakes up from all the cold and asks, “What happened honey.”  I look at him like he is the one responsible for all my misery and say, “My ovaries have stopped working, they say they want to retire which is fine by me, who wants more of what we have created (thinking about our 3 perfect angels-cum-devils), but these suckers’ notice period sucks!” He is half asleep and dozes off, but I kick him on the legs to listen to me and go on talking about my itchy, bitchy, sweaty, sleepy, bloated, forgetful and psycho stages of menopause. Tomorrow he is going to be as miserable as I am – yes!!!

Morning is no better. I asked for a hot body, instead God gave me menopause. My three kids run and scream and fight, damn this winter break. I shout at them and ask each one of them to go back to their rooms, until they hear mommy scream again for breakfast.

Suddenly I think about how It’s going to be a new year soon and my hormones start overreacting and I start crying, for it will be new year’s and I will become older. The irony of which takes me back to my Pre-Menopause Syndrome, what if this is what I have become now? A woman always PMSing! “NOOO,” and I cry harder. My husband comes and tries to calm me down and I get angrier. “I am leaving” and I walk outside the house. If there was a mood swing marathon, I know I would win today. I walk outside and notice myself in my neighbor’s window – Fuck it, I am bloated, I try to do crunches then and there to remove the bloating, but to no avail. I walk further and feel tired so I sit on a bench in the neighborhood park and realize – What the fuck, I am wearing nothing but a robe! Damn you hot flashes!

By: Saloni Bhatnagar

Almere Stad, Netherlands

Master of Business Administration (M.B.A.), International Business | KJ Somaiya Institute of Management Studies & Research2012 – 2014

Bachelor of Technology (B.Tech.), Mechanical & Automation | Indira Gandhi Institute of Technology 2005 – 2009

Experience

Mobility Business Consultant | Athlon Car Lease  August 2016 – June 2018 Junior Consultant | Acterus b.v September 2015 – June 2016 Oracle Pre Sales Consultant | Wipro Ltd June 2014 – April 2015
Systems Analyst | Tata Consultancy Services February 2010 – May 2012

Produced by: Eugenio Zorrilla.

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