The funny thing about this lock down is that I am getting to know my mother-in-law’s son better than I know my son. While he sits in the sofa in his shorts, with a beer in hand watching “Matrix – Reloaded”. I couldn’t help but unload my verbal frustration at him, and like matrix he could save himself from being more than an iota concerned about my words. Being together for 24 hours was not the part of the deal called marriage!
While I want to be respected and praised for being an independent, empowered woman, I also want some appreciation from my husband. I want to be told how the moon is less bright when it is compared to my pale face and how the flowers are not as colorful as myself (which is the case most of the times, since I am a mother of a toddler who spills colors and milk; Fruit juices and oils). I want to be told how good I smell, though I know I smell like ginger and garlic most of the times, owing to 23 hours of cooking in quarantine.
So, this thing lying on my sofa asks for another beer, I shake it and give him the can. At least, that would make him get up! He has taken “Do-Nothing” during lock down quite literally. I asked him “Listen we should talk to each other more, like we used to when we started dating”, and he replied “Hmm did our son eat well?” Now this wasn’t the ice breaker I was expecting
But anyway, I have to admit, he is a brilliant father. He plays and reads and does everything that my son asks him to do. How I wish he would do the same with me. “Darling can we play I sleep and you do everything for the rest of the lock down?”
If there is any one thing that has stood by my side all the time, one thing that has never left me, one thing that never made me feel alone – its laundry! How I wish I could gift all of it to him. But being a stay at home mother, I feel dirtier than I used to when I was working. I mean quite literally, there is mess everywhere. In the living room, in the backyard, in the bathroom, the dining room and I feel I can clean everything. So once in a month, when I am pumped, I do everything in a single day and then, then I nag my husband for not doing anything.
I mean sometimes I really wonder if there is a difference in wiring of the grey matter in males and females with very obviously women being smarter. For example: if there are like 100 toys lying around, my husband will just step such that he doesn’t step on them instead of just putting them in place. Just a few days ago, he ordered a machine to cut his hair, now that all salons are closed, and he cut his hair for about a week, because the density of a male brain could not find a perfect balance in the size of his hair, resulting in him turning into half bald – now I wish the lock down is lifted after 6 months 😀
And what is it with men farting so loudly? Seriously, its like there should be an ass silencer invented marked only for men just as condoms. Once, my husband farted so loudly that I swear I heard him call my name and then when I asked him if he called me, he said “No, it was a fart”. Where has all the meekness that existed a few years ago gone? We used to flush for no reason to hide farts.
It is completely 100% true that now when we look at each other we remember our incomplete tasks in and around the house. Imagine the romance that exists between a couple that tells each other what groceries to buy and which windows to clean. It is really a big turn-on.
My husband is a really nice guy, he is funny and fun at the same time. He does things that are just so incomprehensible for a normal human being, like one day he twisted his own finger and once, he hit his own groin! Mind you, he is not dumb at all and works at one of the biggest companies of the world. But like the rest of the darker sex he has one-sided, uni-tasking mind.
I will rest my rant here and continue some other time, as I just heard him call my name ( its not a fart for sure).
P.S: All events mentioned in this story are imaginary and any resemblance is purely coincidental. Also, my husband is the best and there is a lot of exaggeration here 😀